woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
