Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There r osticjed everywhere
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
