Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
