I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Someone came in the potted fern
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
