my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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