it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
