11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
