shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
