I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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