Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hippo gnu deer
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
