can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
