i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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