hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
