I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
