Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
