We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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