Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
soo... how was my night?
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