he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
