So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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