I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
