If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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