wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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