yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
