Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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