I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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