ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
