another moral hangover. fuck.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
