Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize