I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
