Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
