i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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