Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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