tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
