I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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