the day after is always just damage control
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
