32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
