it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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