do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
