I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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