ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
These tits shall not be calmed
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
