Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
