operation harelip BJ is a go
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
