uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
