At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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