i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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