We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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