I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize