i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Drake has all the answers
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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