just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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