I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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