you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
