the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
