I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
