just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize