How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize