We named our party play list daddy issues
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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