But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
